Getting Older

This year seems to be a very defining year in my life. I would have never thought that my junior year of college would be as such. It's not really a transition point and I feel like a lot of the stuff that shapes people throughout their lives lies in other times. Somehow, though, this year became very defining for me whether I like it or not. These are just a few of the things that seem to have been major in the past year:

-Randy. Randy and I rediscovered our relationship again, only this time on different terms. This time, it was God who led me to explore the idea of us dating again and God who gave me the courage to bring the idea up. We were very careful with how we entered the relationship making sure to bathe it in prayer. Ever since then we have been praying for God's direction and guidance. I don't know about Randy but I also ask for God to confirm that this is the right thing to do. Not once have I doubted that our relationship as it stands right now is pleasing to God. He has been faithful time and time again to show us that indeed, we are doing the right thing and that he has great plans for us. Now we are looking at getting married relatively soon. When did I become old enough to get married? When did I get old enough to make decisions like this? It's all scary and exciting at the same time!

-My Grandparents. I feel like my relationship with my Grandparents has been huge in defining me this year. In the beginning of the year I was forced to deal with the death of my Grandmother. It was a lot harder than I ever imagined it would be. I never realized how huge of a role she played in my life until she was not in it anymore. I miss her a lot but I feel like God has taught me a lot and helped me grow a lot with her being gone.
My Grandma and Grandpa on my Dad's side have played a huge role, too. They have unknowingly forced me to discover what God wants in my life and stick to that no matter what. I don't really want to get into details as it is a somewhat private matter, but it has been huge for my faith life. Also, I have had some wonderful conversations with them about my faith that have made me realize how much I have grown this year. I am glad that I can talk to them openly and honestly and that they take me seriously when I do talk to them.

As we grow older I think that our sense of awareness increases. I guess it makes sense, since we know how things work better than we did when we were younger. I feel that this is a blessing and also a curse. It leads to more worry, but also mroe wisdom. The worry thing we have to work out with God. We have to trust him and not worry. I guess it is supposed to be a blessing to have more awareness but sin makes it a curse...interesting...