Cool story today.
God has been really good to me lately in ways that I realize it. I realize that God is always really good to everyone but I guess I've just been taking notice of some of the ways he has blessed me without me even consciously asking for it.
Lately I've been worrying about the future, what I will be doing after graduation. I think a lot of it stems from the fact that, quite honestly, I've been a little nervous about what life will be like after Randy and I get married. I'm pretty sure the direction I am supposed to take is to get my teaching certificate from Eastern, but is that going to work with us being married. I know I shouldn't worry about these things, but I have been.
Today, Sarah brought me back my Crazy Love book that I let her borrow towards the beginning of the school year. I haven't really missed it. Every once and a while I would remember that she had it and say that I needed to get it back from her but then I would forget again. Well, today she brought it back to me and I started reading the interview with Francis Chan in the back. I did not read this when I read Crazy Love before. It reminded me of two things:
A) God DOES want Randy and me to get married. When I read this book last summer is when God started planting in my head the idea of Randy and I getting back together. I realized that the lifestyle Francis Chan talks about is a lifestyle that Randy strives for. I also realized that I wanted to strive for this lifestyle, too. (Please, if you haven't read this book, read it. Aside from the Bible this book has made the most profound impact on my spiritual life.) Reading just a little bit of this book again reminded me that God wants this relationship to happen.
B) Because this is God's plan, he will take care of us. He will provide what he knows we need and that will ALWAYS be enough. We may not get what we want or even what we think we need, but God will give us what he knows we need. He will equip us to do what he calls us to do and that is wonderful news. If God wants me to go to Eastern after I graduate and he wants us to get married that summer, too, then he will make it happen.
God's timing still blows me away. I hope that never goes away because it just amazes me how awesome he is!
P.S. We have a lot of rabbits here on campus and it makes me really happy to see them frolicking around all over the place. =)
28 April 2010
19 April 2010
Getting Older
This year seems to be a very defining year in my life. I would have never thought that my junior year of college would be as such. It's not really a transition point and I feel like a lot of the stuff that shapes people throughout their lives lies in other times. Somehow, though, this year became very defining for me whether I like it or not. These are just a few of the things that seem to have been major in the past year:
-Randy. Randy and I rediscovered our relationship again, only this time on different terms. This time, it was God who led me to explore the idea of us dating again and God who gave me the courage to bring the idea up. We were very careful with how we entered the relationship making sure to bathe it in prayer. Ever since then we have been praying for God's direction and guidance. I don't know about Randy but I also ask for God to confirm that this is the right thing to do. Not once have I doubted that our relationship as it stands right now is pleasing to God. He has been faithful time and time again to show us that indeed, we are doing the right thing and that he has great plans for us. Now we are looking at getting married relatively soon. When did I become old enough to get married? When did I get old enough to make decisions like this? It's all scary and exciting at the same time!
-My Grandparents. I feel like my relationship with my Grandparents has been huge in defining me this year. In the beginning of the year I was forced to deal with the death of my Grandmother. It was a lot harder than I ever imagined it would be. I never realized how huge of a role she played in my life until she was not in it anymore. I miss her a lot but I feel like God has taught me a lot and helped me grow a lot with her being gone.
My Grandma and Grandpa on my Dad's side have played a huge role, too. They have unknowingly forced me to discover what God wants in my life and stick to that no matter what. I don't really want to get into details as it is a somewhat private matter, but it has been huge for my faith life. Also, I have had some wonderful conversations with them about my faith that have made me realize how much I have grown this year. I am glad that I can talk to them openly and honestly and that they take me seriously when I do talk to them.
As we grow older I think that our sense of awareness increases. I guess it makes sense, since we know how things work better than we did when we were younger. I feel that this is a blessing and also a curse. It leads to more worry, but also mroe wisdom. The worry thing we have to work out with God. We have to trust him and not worry. I guess it is supposed to be a blessing to have more awareness but sin makes it a curse...interesting...
-Randy. Randy and I rediscovered our relationship again, only this time on different terms. This time, it was God who led me to explore the idea of us dating again and God who gave me the courage to bring the idea up. We were very careful with how we entered the relationship making sure to bathe it in prayer. Ever since then we have been praying for God's direction and guidance. I don't know about Randy but I also ask for God to confirm that this is the right thing to do. Not once have I doubted that our relationship as it stands right now is pleasing to God. He has been faithful time and time again to show us that indeed, we are doing the right thing and that he has great plans for us. Now we are looking at getting married relatively soon. When did I become old enough to get married? When did I get old enough to make decisions like this? It's all scary and exciting at the same time!
-My Grandparents. I feel like my relationship with my Grandparents has been huge in defining me this year. In the beginning of the year I was forced to deal with the death of my Grandmother. It was a lot harder than I ever imagined it would be. I never realized how huge of a role she played in my life until she was not in it anymore. I miss her a lot but I feel like God has taught me a lot and helped me grow a lot with her being gone.
My Grandma and Grandpa on my Dad's side have played a huge role, too. They have unknowingly forced me to discover what God wants in my life and stick to that no matter what. I don't really want to get into details as it is a somewhat private matter, but it has been huge for my faith life. Also, I have had some wonderful conversations with them about my faith that have made me realize how much I have grown this year. I am glad that I can talk to them openly and honestly and that they take me seriously when I do talk to them.
As we grow older I think that our sense of awareness increases. I guess it makes sense, since we know how things work better than we did when we were younger. I feel that this is a blessing and also a curse. It leads to more worry, but also mroe wisdom. The worry thing we have to work out with God. We have to trust him and not worry. I guess it is supposed to be a blessing to have more awareness but sin makes it a curse...interesting...
Desires of your heart
I tend to only write these when I feel like I have something really important to say, but then I start writing and I feel like it's kind of dumb so I just delete it and then I end up with a dead blog taking up internet space. We'll see if this post actually makes it to getting posted and if this blog actually stays alive.
Speaking of desires of the heart, I'm sitting here waiting for Randy to call me. (Cheesy, I know, deal with it or leave :P ) I kind of made a cool discovery today and I figured that while I'm waiting I can blog (because homework just isn't as important...or something like that).
Anywho, I kind of had a weird experience today. I don't really want to tell the story...not yet anyways. It gave me an answer to prayer though. Not a prayer that I had consciously talked to God about, but something I wanted deep down inside...actually it was something I did not want deep down inside. I had told myself that I did want it and I knew it was going to be difficult but I told myself I could handle it. There were other various reasons that I had convinced myself that this was best. I'm sure all of this would make much more sense if you knew the story...sorry...maybe someday. Or I'll just forget. Anyways, I received a phone call today that changed everything. I was surprised that I felt relief. I was sad a little bit, but more so relieved. After I took the final steps to bring the situation to a close, I felt this overwhelming peace. It was then that I realized that God had answered the prayer of my heart. All along I knew that this outcome was the best, but I wrestled with it for a while.
It's weird...the desires of out heart... I wonder how often we truly know what the desires of our hearts are. I wonder how often we fool ourselves into thinking that something is the desire of our hearts when it really isn't. I'm grateful that God knows the desires of our hearts.
Speaking of desires of the heart, I'm sitting here waiting for Randy to call me. (Cheesy, I know, deal with it or leave :P ) I kind of made a cool discovery today and I figured that while I'm waiting I can blog (because homework just isn't as important...or something like that).
Anywho, I kind of had a weird experience today. I don't really want to tell the story...not yet anyways. It gave me an answer to prayer though. Not a prayer that I had consciously talked to God about, but something I wanted deep down inside...actually it was something I did not want deep down inside. I had told myself that I did want it and I knew it was going to be difficult but I told myself I could handle it. There were other various reasons that I had convinced myself that this was best. I'm sure all of this would make much more sense if you knew the story...sorry...maybe someday. Or I'll just forget. Anyways, I received a phone call today that changed everything. I was surprised that I felt relief. I was sad a little bit, but more so relieved. After I took the final steps to bring the situation to a close, I felt this overwhelming peace. It was then that I realized that God had answered the prayer of my heart. All along I knew that this outcome was the best, but I wrestled with it for a while.
It's weird...the desires of out heart... I wonder how often we truly know what the desires of our hearts are. I wonder how often we fool ourselves into thinking that something is the desire of our hearts when it really isn't. I'm grateful that God knows the desires of our hearts.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)